Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
