yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize