I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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