He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
