She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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