Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
