At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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