You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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