I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
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I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
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One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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