Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
