It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
