I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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