therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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