so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
