The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
