I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I would fuck him just for his dog
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
