can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
