New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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