I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
