I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
thus making me awesome and them whores
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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