That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
