You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
