not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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