carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
