Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Terrible idea I love it
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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