I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize