I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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