She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Dignity is for republicans.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
