But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
