I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
