pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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