Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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