I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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