But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
