wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
