they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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