Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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