Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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