We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
