Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
When are your genitals available?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
