Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
