We're facebook friends in real life
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
