the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
