I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
