got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
