Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
