party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
The Olympian is in my bed
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
how does that bad decision feel?
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