I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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