Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
