So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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