we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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