My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
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You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
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Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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