where am i from again
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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