her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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