I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
