On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
