Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
