If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
