I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
