question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
