Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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