I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
