You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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