oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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