Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
