Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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