I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
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