then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
