I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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