At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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