working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
