Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
